I just received a nasty message on MySpace from some kid in St. Albert accusing me of spreading rumors about him. I don't even know anyone who lives in St. Albert. Despite my brain assuring me that I should give it no thought, this message infuriated me. It's high school all over again. Sigh.
BUT ANYWAY I had a good evening last night that provided a much-needed confidence boost.
I went out with Zach, a former flame that I believe I have mentioned here previously. We started at New City but after that became remarkably insane with dancing queens, we moved our drinking to The Red Star. Right on par with a night of drinking with Zach, conversation turned to failed romance and faltering self-esteem. It was a horrible conversation that made me flee to the bathroom and snuffle and fight back tears (ugh) because I was forced to relive the moment when the boy who I loved said "I have no regrets" but that's a rant for another time. He was bemoaning his inability to find a new flame and I asked him what it was he was looking for exactly. It started out with him saying that he wanted someone just like her. Eventually, he sort of perked up, as if he had just thought of something and looked at me and said "Someone who's just like you...except less caustic."
Less caustic?!
That's like asking a crayon to be less crayon-y but maintain it's essential crayon-ness (how Nietzsche of me!).
So mostly I'm confused but maintaining the hope that someone will want me for me in all my caustic glory.
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