breaking hearts has never looked so cool [ 19.07.04 - 12:19 she's got no interest in anything at all ] part i: whiskey beatings & sailor mouth. alright, yes, i bailed on calgary & yes this makes me a terrible person, but i spent the weekend racked with depression & a harsh hangover, if it's any consolation. my weekend went by, mostly without event but somehow chock full of emotions. part ii: i kissed the bottle, shoulda been kissing you. i dreamed about dan early this morning. it's as muggy as the nights were in victoria & then there's the strangle of nostalgia. i had my alarm set for 8 am but i woke up from a dream of kissing him at 7:58. we were still broken up in the dream, but i was at his house anyway. we were laying in a huge bed with gauzy sheets & heavy comforters & infinitely soft pillows. we lay there, rolling into each other & i kissed him & asked "is this okay?" he said it was & we kissed until i woke up against my will. when i woke up, i almost screamed in frustration & tried to fall back asleep & back into the dream, but it was lost. it hurt. part iii: um? to top off my weekend on a particularly fucked up note, i got a phone call from the first boy i ever loved. we'll call him j. i have no idea how he got my phone number. i haven't even seen him in years. he thinks of me, he loves me, he wants to marry me. but i'm in love with someone else now. red wine-stained lips your red red lipstick drunk nights & whiskey kisses & bruises on my neck [ previous entry - next entry ]

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