breaking hearts has never looked so cool [ 25.06.04 - 3:31 the hypocritical oath. ] well. i've been talking to daniel against my better judgment, mostly to see if i could. essentially, it's okay. not too much hurting, except when he talks about all these improvements in his life. that made me pretty sad. it's hypothesized that i felt sad about it because he's obviously moving on & i am not. i don't think i am, anyway. i mean, i date. i have sex, i make out, i go for dinners with other boys. i still miss him though. i don't know what the pinnacle of 'over him' will feel like. i don't know at what point i can say 'man, i've moved on so well. i'm totally over him!' partly because i don't think i ever got over jared (first love) & that paints a grim picture of my future, considering it's been, like, 3 years since i've even seen him & more than that, since we dated. however, part of me is gaining some satisfaction from talking to him again. he hasn't dated one person since we broke up. he drinks even more than calvin does. he goes to "clubs" & dances (call me a snob, but i hate boys who dance at clubs) he apparently has developed a penchant for pornography it also confirms for me one surreal & slightly painful fact. i still love dani, but i don't really like him anymore. not since talking to him & seeing how he is now. so, what am i going to do with this revelation? enh. nothing, probably. update i wound up telling him that i didn't like the person he has become & that i didn't want to talk to him anymore. for real, this time. [ previous entry - next entry ]

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