breaking hearts has never looked so cool [ 03.06.04 - 11:52 too bad it's not fiction ] stumbling home, drunk as usual, i somehow discerned the location of an unlocked car on a residential sidestreet. i opened the door & got in, reclining the seat back as far as it would go. i lay there, the interior light of the car spinning wildly out of control until it automatically clicked off. i could have sworn i smelled him then, feeling his presence as if he were right there next to me. it felt so real, i had to check. these tragic fucking nights. my head started to scream from places that used to sigh & breathe. i tried to regain control, composure but she told me today that my feelings seemed real & i told her something is going to have to break. so, i broke & cried like i haven't since hallowe'en, recalling trivialities & the frustration of feeling like i'm clawing through glass just to not be without you. i drenched the upholstery of this stranger's midsize family sedan with my tears & snot & when i bit my tongue hard, i made no effort to stop the blood, too. the sky started to turn half-erased chalk grey by the time i roused myself. dragging my feet all the way, i came home where i smelled him again, only this time for real. [ previous entry - next entry ]

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