breaking hearts has never looked so cool [ 29.05.04 - 2:26 i should get my own sitcom. ] so, i put a load of laundry into the washer & was sitting on the couch watching daytime tv & nursing a wicked flu virus when i heard an unusual noise. i inspected the oven, which terrifies me with its gas range & found the sound was not coming from there. i walked out of the kitchen into the laundry & ankle deep in water. apparently, a pipe had burst, spraying gallons of water all over the walls, ricocheting onto the floor. screaming, i climbed on top of the washer & turned the knobs a full rotation one way, then the other with no result. sobbing hysterically, soaked through, my hair stuck to my head & my clothes stuck to my body, i ran through the house to get a towel, which somehow i thought would stop the gushing torrent of water. of course, this did not work. however, somewhere during my frantic knob-turning, i shut off the cold water, so now not only was i drenched, i was drenched with boiling hot water. the room began to steam up quickly, so i ran through the trenches of water to open the window. mind you, this entire time, i was sobbing like a lunatic, screaming "fuck fuck fuck!" & punching things. why i reacted like this, i'm not sure. i ran, sopping wet, crying, miserable & cursing calvin, my landlord, god, everyone i could think of, to the living room where i attempted to reach calvin at work, then the landlord. unfortunately, they were talking to each other at the time, so i couldn't reach either of them. i called my handier friends andrew & rich, but neither of them knew what i should do. so instead of doing anything, i just sat on the couch & smoked a cigarette that was swiftly ruined by my sopping wet hair dripping blue-black drops (did i mention that i recently dyed my hair?) upon it. i could still hear the water spewing into the wall & grew more & more angry at everyone & everything, due to my immense frustration. crying & yelling "damn you, calvin! get off the effin' phone!" over and over, i smoked my cigarette until it fizzled out completely. finally, i got through to calvin, who told me that the tap to turn off the water was under the kitchen sink. what a hero. so, after the water ceased its attempt at ruining my life, i got out our "mop" which has lost its sponge in its entirety, & used it as a squeegee apparatus, scraping the water the doorway and flipping it outside. nothing escaped the wrath of the water. then again, at least my bike is much shinier than before. [ previous entry - next entry ]

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