breaking hearts has never looked so cool [ 29.05.04 - 10:51 goodbye to you. ] calvin came home & told me that his friend michael wanted to be "hooked up" with me. creepy. when i heard the news, i smiled a thin-lipped, pained smile & attempted to enjoy the attention, but really i wished that he was insane with jealousy over the thought of me with this boy. i suck. also, i am sick as a dog. dizzy, delirious, & stuffed with bodily fluids that i don't even want to acknowledge. i go between too hot & too cold, & i haven't slept longer than 2 hours straight since thursday. i spent the night in calvin's bed thursday (save your judgment!) & being that he was insanely drunk, he was very affectionate. i asked him to feel my glands & tell me if they were swollen. in the dark, his fingers groped around my neck, starting behind my head at the base of my skull, & slowly,slowly,slowly, agonizingly slowly to my jawline, where he traced quiet circles. he commented on the swelling & then took my hand in both of his & lay it on his chest. he slept with his forehead pressed to mine. this sucks. [ previous entry - next entry ]

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