breaking hearts has never looked so cool [ 28.04.04 - 7:06 all packed up, nowhere to go. ] what's going on in my head these days? i feel some sort of disquiet in the pit of my guts & for the first time in my life, it's not stymied by vodka, no matter how much i attempt to drown it in. why,why,why do i still think about him? why do i insist on losing myself so thoroughly in one person? one person, there's billions of people out there, at least a thousand just like him. i am a firm believer in the mediocrity of all man. nothing is unique, no one is a special little someone amongst a lot of no ones. not to say that i don't see redeeming qualities in people. just that their redeeming qualities are the same as everyone else's. & you say i'm cynical. puh. i just can't seem to forget his habits. it's not his face, or his words, or his smell. it's the way he bites his lower lip & how he clutches blankets, pillow, bags, anything that's around, to his chest. it's the way he glances skyward when he thinks, & every line in his face when he concentrates. you could be anyone. i'm lonely & my phone won't ring. all i have tonight are dusty memories pulled out from the pits of my closet. i have a box of letters, photos, & cds from dan in there. someone save me from myself. [ previous entry - next entry ]

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