breaking hearts has never looked so cool [ 07.10.03 - 2:09 - ] so, my sister is effectively ruining her life. way to go, shannon. she's doing everything that i did, & consequently, everything she swore she would never do. she's skipping school, just a stone's throw away from dropping out & attending the pregnant teenagers & stupid kid's school. it's so frustrating seeing her doing this, & i'm beginning to realize the hell i put my mom through. i simultaneously want to hug her & smack her in the face. i wrote her a letter, trying to explain where my life is right now & that it isn't a pretty picture trying to enroll yourself as an adult in high school. hopefully something gets across to her, although i don't think anything would have to me when i was her age & doing the things she's doing. she doesn't seem to realize that she's sacrificing her life for nothing. absolutely nothing - hanging out with her stupid stoner friends. ugh. i wish i could be there with her, & that life & fate hadn't brought me so far away from her, especially at this point. i know she resents me for leaving her & i can't say that i blame her. it makes me want to cry. the one thing that makes me emote is my sister. i don't want to see her where i am & i especially don't want to see her where i was at 16 & i feel like my being there might be able to do something. maybe that's unrealistic. i just want her life to be good & easy & happy. i know that's near impossible for an angst-ridden, hormone bag like her, but i hope. i wish there was something that i could do. i hate victoria more & more every day. [ previous entry - next entry ]

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